Ever felt like dying?
My dream of wanting to die came back today again... I dunno what happened...
maybe it was the small quarrel that broke off all worldly connections... or maybe I just hanged in there for too long when someone was actually trying so hard to pull me down. My perseverence is lost and I just dun wanna go on with this anymore.
It's like when u are trying to hard to hold on and move on and wish that everything gets better... and then it falls back again... and the higher u climb the deeper u fall, and it just keeps happening over and over again like a vicious cycle...
If things never went well for so many times... will u believe it will go well again?

Someone please shoot me. If only I just died a slow painful death 3 years ago... if only... it was such a good chance for me to just die... why must I be saved? If I really have a chance now... I rather just have a fast death... I dun wanna live anymore, what's the point of it all?

What's the point of living anyway...?

I wished that I have never existed in the first place... why is there me? why am I here... it's utterly pointless and useless... just like a grain of insignificant sand by the seaside... which just gets blown away by the wind or carried away by the tide... it's aimlessly going on and on...

I wished I have never walked into anyone's life... it didn't make a difference after all... just leave me alone to rot and die... and I am sorry for all the sufferings I gave to other pple out there.

If only there's an open gun in front of me now... I will just trigger the bullet... thankfully I dun have the guts to cut myself at the moment... but I will get back the courage and guts and I will cut myself like what I did in the past...
bombed by meowmeow at 11:24 AM  0 remarks

meow, it feels great to be loved by u...
the love I have never felt before, and the love greater than anything in a lifetime...

for days and nights, I prayed that someone right will walk into my life and give me the happiness that will linger in my life forever, and I am glad it happened... not only I wanna thank God for that prayer to happen, but I also wanna thank U for walking into my life.

thank u for your love and your patience, your care and your trust, these are the attributes that makes u so different from other people and other guys out there. The times when u held my heart so gently yet firm and nourish it with care and love, and accept it when it's so broken down and blemished.

for days and months I was waiting yet I couldn't tell anyone about it, cos others might think I was foolish and persuade me to give up. When the chance came, I knew it was the turning point of my life.

everything u have done for me and every word u say, sprinkle gold dust onto my heart, making it whole and warm again. Sometimes tears of happiness will just stream down my face whenever I thought of how nice u are to me and the sacrifices u made.

thank u my dear and my darling... I will always love u.
bombed by meowmeow at 8:53 AM  0 remarks