random, just random
Played WoW (World of Warcraft) 3 days non-stop without sleep and food, only surviving on water. After 3 days, walked to the fridge to get chicken. Saw chicken as "the graphical chicken in WoW", "Moonfire" or "Starfire". Think again... no ... back to real world.
Cried one night, swallowed 21 paracetamols, sent into ED shortly (thanks to a good friend), forced to swallow awful tasting "tar-drink", puked non-stop a couple of hours, got into semiconscious state, had needles put in. Abdomen hurt badly a few days after, got tested for liver and kidney failure, more needles put in. (swear u never commit suicide popping pills ever again)
Had heaps of assignments, don't know what to do? How to start? Where to begin? ARrrgghghghg? What to write? What references to use? How to write argumentative esssay? more ARrghghghg... Stress
Love from special people. Mm LOVE... mommy, grandpa, grandma, darling. They give lots and lots. You never know what great sacrifices they've made. Too many and too huge.
Cried for no reason almost every night. Had mood swings of highs and lows. No idea what was going on in terms of emotions. Still trying to cling on yet sometimes want to let go. So bleak so lost.
Lying in bed, weird feelings. The pitch-dark room. Looks at fingers, looks at arms... Why am I here? Who am I? What was I? Am I real?
Looks around the room, everything seems hollow, everything seems empty, everything doesn't seem real. It just feels so empty, so cold, so weird.
Can't sleep. Flashes of thought. Happened long ago, a show that evoked fear. Not sure why fear? The sky was yellow and dark, a big green-yellow field. There was a tunnel. A transparent "sand-box" with triangular sand tunnels in the "sand-box". Small things... pixies?... riding monocycles in the sand tunnels... feelings of overpowering fear, but couldn't understand why fearful. They getting closer.
One night, parents were asleep. Crawled in next to mommy and hid beside her. The door creaked open. Someone at the door. Couldn't see what that is. He/She/It wore something black, ran one round in the empty space in the bedroom and went back out (just like superman), but that wasn't superman. He/She/It repeated running round again and went out a few times. There was fear. Cold sweat on the brows.
A big big green field of tall grasses. Suddenly... rolling red clouds, red sky, red faraway mountains. Darkness, flying things with wings. Fear. A voice called out. Run, keep running.
A guy, many flights of stairs, deserted. He said "I could take u to a place where u feel like flying". Got grabbed, one button came off. Adrenaline rush. Run, as fast as u can. Run.
A white bright tunnel... keep running... grew smaller in dimensions but no ending yet no way out... keeping running... ran till a point where u get stuck. Tired.
A European place, an old, elegant hotel. Turning entrance doors. Dark, yellow lights. Night time. A couple of guys. In a hotel room. Another group of guys came barging in. Hid in toilet. A guy broke into toilet, holding a shotgun, pointed at your chest. Pulled the trigger, excruciating pain in the chest. Dizziness, flashes of thoughts ran through the mind... family, future, life. Didn't want to die.
bombed by meowmeow at 11:01 PM
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