For those in a relationship, have u ever felt this way about your partner?
Well, ya I feel this way more and more and I am getting very very tired.
Firstly was my previous relationship... There's this guy who plays WoW (World of Warcraft) 24/7. He doesn't even give a damn about anything. Ask him to buy groceries or go shopping with you, he just WoW. Then he expects me to cook nice "chef-like" food for him when he doesn't even help in the kitchen, or at least help buy groceries or at least help PAY for the groceries. And when u cook simple meals, he doesn't wanna eat your food.
I am like adopting a kid liddat, have to pay for his food. And if u dun give him food, he doesn't eat at all. He can don't eat for 3 months and he doesn't care. He told me his parents dun give him enough money. His mom always thinks I am a CHARITY ORGANISATION who helps to feed his son. She always calls me and go "oh buy more fruits and vegetables for Andrew yea?" Like yeaaaa, u think I am rich ah? At first I got worried cos that guy wasn't eating, and he very poor thing... so I decided to just "feed" him, then after sometime, when my pocket money keeps running out and I have to ask extra from my mom, I got really sick and tired of it.
Look now, my parents work very hard. My mom was so afraid that I couldn't cope with the expensive living expenses in Melbourne that she went out to work so that she can get extra pocket money for me. Now I do feel very guilty for getting more money from her and I try not to. Whereas that Andrew guy, wah lau his dad like what... civil engineer in Singapore who helps the government construct some of the highways and also the Esplanade and now is involved in the building of the floating city in Singapore. His mom is a teacher and an author for some commerce books. They are damn rich lar, live in semi-attached double storey house with security guards and swimming pool, tennis court and playground... and they can't feed their son? Are u kidding me?
I am just a normal average girl, from a normal average family who is like freakingly poor and we have to work hard to survive. I feel like I am just throwing money for these rich pple liddat.
Another thing that only close friends know, *only close friends read this site right*... This Andrew guy physically abused me 3 times. Once he punched me in the stomach that I got abdominal bleeding, the doc asked if I wanna report him, but I refused to, thinking that he will change. Second time he hit me in the chest and ever since then I suffer from hyperventilation whenever I get anxiety attacks. The third time was the worst, cos he punched me in my face RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY MOM. I guess my mom was more shocked than me. She was dumbfounded and I remembered very clearly she was standing outside the door, gasping and stunned while I was crying there. (Mummy, I am very sure you remember this *my mom reads my blog too*)
This Andrew guy doesn't even respect my mom. He doesn't say "Hi" to my mom or talk to her at all when she comes to Melbourne for visits. I hate guys who doesn't respect or talk to my mom. So for those out there who has been talking behind my back on me being a flirt and changing bfs, think again... there's always a reason why I leave a guy. And for all those guys out there whom I rejected, I am sorry, I just wasn't ready for a relationship, but you don't have to "UN-GENTLEMAN-LY" get even with me by spreading false rumours that I was your gf for 1 week or 1 month or something. I started dating at a tender age of 15, had 2 relationships in the past and none of them lasted less than 1.5 years. Ask any of my secondary school friends or close friends, they can witness that.
For those who kept blaming me for leaving Andrew... Isn't violence against women wrong? So are you trying to say that I should keep getting abused by a guy? And my poor mom who only love me as an only daughter has to have an abusive son-in-law who might kill her daughter one day and also disrespect her? Please do get the facts right before you guys decide to make me a victim of false rumours. It's very defaming by the way. What comes around goes around. You say me, one day you will get it too.
Anywayz...
Now this guy in this relationship. Well, it's my 3rd relationship and I am going to make it my last. He's nice. He helps with groceries, and he does help with cooking and sometimes he helps with cleaning. He's very cuddly sometimes and he's very cute. Although he can be a bit loud and vulgar sometimes, but he doesn't really mean it. He's just very playful. Actually there wasn't much I can ask for, but it will be nice if he can accompany me shop.
You see, everytime he wants to shop, I have to sacrifice my one day to shop with him or everytime he wants to watch "HIS KINDA" movie, I have to sacrifice my night to go watch "HIS KINDA" movie. But then ah, everytime I wanna shop, just for 30 mins looking at some damn shoe... he will say "urrrghhh, I need to do my work". Or when I wanna watch "MY KINDA" movie, he will criticise the movie and make me not watch it.
It's really sad, and for a while you think "wah I have been sacrificing all my time trying to accommodate what you want when I dun even have enough time to sleep that much or finish my assignments...then now I only need 30 mins from you and you can't give it to me?
(this guy got lotsa time, he sleeps about 10 hours a day? he stays at home most of the day, got more than one month holiday and about 3 days of school a day which is like a few hours of lectures and tuts only).
COMPARED TO ME...
(I have 4 to 5 hours of sleep during weekdays, have uni or clinics 4 days a week : uni - 9am to 5pm and clinics - 8.30am to 5.30pm. Have at least 2 assignments to hand in a month with 1 case presentation every month. Then still have to study for my school work and clinics can kill you, cos you are doing "manual labour", running around, sweet talking to patients and carrying patients legs or hands or whatever, walk with them and stuffs... urrggghhh. Sometimes I dun even get enough time to play games or have fun.)
I was so upset and angry that I broke this. It's this small glass tube attached to my keys and it's this arrow saying "I love you" on it. It's the first key chain my dada ever bought for me. And I remembered how expensive it was, 20 over dollars just for this thing...=.=". Sorry da, I broke it. ='(
I have never been this violent unless someone keeps doing the same irritating thing to me un-understandingly. At the same time, I learnt how to express anger ever since that Andrew incident, cos it can really drive you up the wall, bang your head and die.
It's really amazing how one person or an incident in your life can change you so much. But I guess, there's not much I can ask for right? I mean this present guy here, my dada, he's already very nice. I guess no one is perfect. Ever since the previous relationship, I have learnt to appreciate nice guys like my darling now.
So da, I still love you very much no matter what. Sorry for those times that I screamed, I have been controlling a lot lately, but once a while I am allowed to scream right? HEHE... I mean who doesn't scream at all when angry?
bombed by meowmeow at 1:31 PM 0 remarks
